


Skeleton Hoodies

by dunshiine



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Dark, Demons, Ghosts, Horror, Kissing, M/M, Mild Smut, Murder, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychotic break, Rape, Sad, TOPFL Halloween Challenge, TOPFL Halloween Challenge 2019, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 02:36:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21219170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunshiine/pseuds/dunshiine
Summary: Tyler had only been sixteen when he went missing, four years later, his best friend Josh had never been able to recover from it. He had never left their hometown, and he had been left wondering for years. It's when he receives a strange letter from someone claiming to be Tyler that things start to be revealed and his suspicions are proven to be true.





	Skeleton Hoodies

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is for the TOPFL Halloween Challenge, I cannot believe I actually got it done. This story was a struggle and a half to write, it took me a bunch of changes and coming back to it multiple times to get it right but its done and its done in time!  
BIG Content Warning: Do not take any of my tags lightly. This fic is DARK. If you think you'll be upset by any of it, please, please just don't read. I don't want anyone getting upset.   
If you like horror and don't mind some gore and violence, I hope you enjoy!!!

Tyler had been wearing his skeleton hoodie when he had disappeared. Josh could still remember the sound of the plastic zipper the last time Josh had seen him zip it up. They both had the same sweatshirt and had worn it to school on the same days on accident so many times that people teased them relentless for it,

_ “There go the Skeleton Clique,” Bradley shouted in the hall when they would pass _

_ “You need more than two people to be in a clique, asshole.” Tyler called back.  _

Josh could feel the fabric still, it had been his favorite sweatshirt. It had felt like a security blanket, a warm hug, rough spun friendship, hard earned respect. It felt like a pilling cotton rope that tied him to Tyler. And the last time Josh had ever seen Tyler he had been in it, walking away from school, it zipped all the way up over his head, making his face a mask. 

One

Two

Three

Four years later the _zwiiiip _still echoed in his head. 

At twenty years old, Josh recognized without a shadow of a doubt that he would never see Tyler Joseph ever again. If he was still alive, Tyler was long gone and all that was left of him was Josh’s matching sweatshirt, some bass picks and an untouched room in the Joseph house. 

Josh’s sweatshirt had been retired, he had tried to wear it to bring back happy memories but it held regret and remorse and nothing else. But he always thought of it, especially around this time of the year. When the leaves changed, the cold air blew, and candy stocked the aisles of the local 24 hour grocery store where Josh was the night manager. Halloween was around the corner and Josh no longer cared. It used to be one of his favorite holidays but every since Tyler’s disappearance it had lost all sense of joy and fun. 

He blamed Halloween for Tyler’s disappearance. If it hadn’t been for Halloween Tyler might still be there. Maybe not. But maybe so. Maybe there wouldn’t have been that walk home in the dark, or the last  _ zwiiiip _ of the hoodie. Josh could have easily walked him home, but would it have made a difference? 

There had been a stuffy, resilient blanket of despair that settled over their town in the days after Tyler vanished. It had felt suffocating, like cotton shoved in ears, nose, mouth, eye sockets. It had been all:

Crying

Jarring shouts in the night

Fear soaked reminders

Dark

Police

Dog barks

News reports

Missing Boy

What if there is More?

More Boys Gone

More men who like to hurt

More rape, kidnapping, murder

More

More

More

And Josh had gone numb to it all. October rolled around for the last four years and the numbness returned, sinking into his bones, causing them to be brittle. Easy to crack. His skeleton hoodie no longer there to provide a barrier. He went through the motions of his job in October, the rainy season, the cool season, the pumpkin season, the frightful season, with a sense of very real dread. 

He wandered fluorescent back hallways of the grocery, taking inventory, finding boxes of items needed on different shelves and listening for calls on his walkie talkie. It was green tinged, lonely with only a few other people back there. 

Or he stepped through the bright, daylight mimicking aisles of the main store, helping the odd customer who came for batteries, cough medicine or baby formula. The store seemed lost in time, eerily familiar but not right at this time of night. Especially in October. Josh had never gotten used to it, even though he had been stocking these shelves from 9 PM- 5 AM for two years, it never felt quite right. Things got less and less right as the year inched towards October. It was like instead of the year ending and beginning with December and January respectively it felt like October was both the beginning and end. It was the cut off of the year, in a violent way. 

A snipped strip of skin

A strangulation of the year

A gasp

A choke

A silence

The Halloween season brought dread and fear to Josh, but  _ The Day _ itself also brought relief. At least it was over. Even if the reminders of that dark time continued into November, at least the day was passed and the Skeleton hoodie could be put out of his mind for the time being. But he still had a few days until that happy time. For now, it loomed large in Josh’s head, infecting his mind as he worked. Making sure all of his employees were at their respective spots, checking on the check out lady who talked for a little too long with customers who just wanted to get home and away from the creep of the store. The days always lasted too long in October. 

It was always dark and it was always the same. Work till five. Go home. Pass out until noon. Wake up, spend the afternoon doing whatever he wanted, go to work at nine PM. Barely seeing the sun because it was either dark, or covered in a haze of grey clouds. 

Today was no different, until he walked out of his apartment to check his mailbox.

He had, had an odd days sleep anyway, there had been a thumping outside his window that had woken him up multiple times.

Thump

Thu-Thump

ThumpThump

Thump

Thu-Thump

ThumpThump

Thump

The pattern easy to follow, it eventually became possible to ignore. Except for the random extra loud thump that didn’t seem to fit into the pattern. Those were the ones that woke him. He couldn’t find an explanation for the thumps but he was sure it was just something he wasn’t seeing. And yet, he felt an unease. A creeping prickling, a twitch of hairs on the back of his neck, a shiver, a stroke and a pearl of understanding except…he didn’t know what he was understanding. He just had the feeling of knowledge. How he could have knowledge without knowing what knowledge was completely beyond him.

October is upon us, therefore the world is dark, full of inexplicable, boiling, seething, vibrations, poisonous when looked at too closely. 

When he went to check the mailbox and got another shiver and shake, a squirm that came from nowhere, he attributed it to his general feeling of October. 

Josh opened his mailbox and found only one letter, it was heavy and completely unmarked except for something that immediately set him on edge. 

From the recesses of his memory, from well before four years ago, there had once been a conversation between him and Tyler, and that conversation was what was conjured as he stared at the heavy, white envelope. 

_ “What even is that? What does it mean?” Josh asked, indicating a piece of paper Tyler had been scribbling on.  _

_ “It’s just a symbol. Like. A logo.” _

_ “A logo for what?” Josh asked. _

_ “Our band, maybe.” Tyler suggested his face splitting into a nervous smile. “Do you like it?” he asked. _

_ “I do. But I don’t get it.” Josh said. The symbol was scratched a few times on a piece of white paper, it looked like Tyler hadn’t quite been sure what looked the best. But the one that was the most prominent was simple |-/ with a circle drawn around it. Just when Tyler was about to answer Josh, their teacher, Mr. Wilson walked over. _

_ “Boys,” He said, “come on we’re supposed to be reading Gatsby! You should love this stuff, Tyler!” He insisted, Mr. Wilson, the boys favorite teacher didn’t take the paper away, he didn’t even chastise them for long, he just smiled at them, tapped the paper the boys were looking at and walked away.  _

Josh was shaken now because on that envelope was the same simple symbol. The symbol he hadn’t looked at in so very long. His heart leapt into his throat. 

His hands shook, it caused the letter to quiver, he hurriedly turned away from the mailboxes and headed back down the hallway. There was that tickle in the back of his neck, a surge of nervousness. The idea of entering his quiet apartment alone sent spike of fear straight through him, it felt like a cold rod in his abdomen. The letter had to be opened but he couldn’t do it out here, in the hallway of the apartment. For some reason it just wouldn’t work like that, somehow Josh instinctively knew this. He walked down the long, quiet, deserted hallway. 

Blackness creeping closer

Oozing down the hall towards him

Something trying to catch him

Heart thump

Hands jump

Faster step

Door

Closing in

Something behind him

Don’t turn head

On his heels

Gnawing at his insides

Reach out

Its too close

Can feel

Letter heavy

Weighing down his hand

Twist handle

Sudden stop

Panic flare

Nightmare?

Locked

Josh let out a breath

He had locked his door behind him when he had gone to get the mail, relief rushed through him as the panic subsided. Of course there was absolutely nothing behind him. Even though the letter felt like it was burning in his hand. He swallowed and unlocked his door, stepping inside. He closed and locked it again before going to his table. He set the letter down in the middle of the table and stared at it. His hand moved to his mouth, biting his thumbnail as he stared down at the white envelope with the quickly and easily scrolled symbol on the front. No one else knew about this symbol. No one but him and Tyler. 

Maybe that wasn’t true, maybe they had talked about it before, to someone. Maybe his brother or his sisters? Or maybe one of their friends? Maybe this was a stupid prank from someone who hated them in high school. What kind of sick fuck would pull a prank using his dead best friend!? Dead.  _ Was _ Tyler dead? Could this possibly be a letter from Tyler, from his new life far away? Josh’s fingers slid across the table towards the envelope. There was only one way to find out. Open it.

Open

Open it

It

Calling to you

Open me

Open

Rip

Unfold

Read

Open

Op

En

_ Josh, _

_ There is a lot I wish I could say to you but I don’t have a lot of time to write this. We’re so much closer than you think we are. You’re right there, so close it feels like I could reach out and touch you. You’re so close to knowing so much more, more than you ever bargained for. I want to guide you through it. I want to see you. Do you remember the symbol I put on this envelope? Do you remember when I first showed you? That class. I got called a fag so often in that class. Remember it? Remember sitting together? Its like my memory has gotten so much clearer now. Don’t let the memories fade, Josh.  _

_ -Tyler _

Reach out and touch you.

The words practically caressed his ear, he could feel the tingle slip down onto his neck. Tyler. A shiver came over him, it didn’t let go. Who would do this? Who would perfect Tyler’s handwriting just to hurt him? He stood there in his kitchen, staring at the letter, re-reading every sentence and obsessing over it.  _ Don’t let the memories fade, Josh. _

Memories won’t fade

Even if he forced them to

They were stuck there

Milling around in his brain

_ Zwiip  _ of the zipper

The smile as he pushed the hood back

He would give anything to see the smile for real

Memories be damned

_ Give me the real fucking thing _

Josh went to work that night still cold, shivery and upset. The lights illuminating the aisles of the store gave him a splitting headache, he was popping ibuprofen like it was candy by the third hour of his shift. It was an unusually busy night, there was a lady who yelled at one of the cashiers for not having the right color wrapping paper, there was a teenager that threw up in the chips aisle, there was random spills, broken glass, and stupidity left, right and center. At least it kept him busy and not thinking too much about the letter that he had left sitting on his kitchen table. 

He managed to stay fairly calm throughout the night, considering how shaken he had been by the letter. October was his least favorite month, Halloween his least favorite holiday and it was like all of that hatred and anxiety had been condensed into a letter and then that letter had been delivered to him. It all poured out, like dry ice, scorching his hands, freezing him on the inside. It was his worst nightmare and what had dreamt of for four years. Some kind of contact with Tyler but there was no return address, nothing he could do to reach out to whoever this might be. No evidence that it really was Tyler and nothing that told him that it definitely wasn’t. He wanted nothing more than to clutch that letter into him, and also rip it apart, to burn it, bury it, hold it, keep it in his shirt, and tear every word from it and swallow it all. He wanted it and he didn’t want it. He needed it to be from Tyler and he needed to never know at the same time. 

He kept it together through work, going through his business and dealing with the craziness that was a graveyard shift at a 24 hour grocery store. It wasn’t until he was leaving the store at 5 AM when everything seemed to crash down around him. It was still dark, the sun barely scraping the horizon, the parking lot still only illuminated in the bright neon lights of the store’s name looming overhead. Josh was walking towards his car when he saw someone. Their sweatshirt was what immediately stopped him in his tracks. It was a skeleton hoodie. It was him. It was Tyler. That hoodie. He knew it so well, he knew the look, the sound it made. The guy was across the road from him, walking towards the store as he walked away. His head was down, the hood wasn’t pulled, his face wasn’t a mask but Josh couldn’t see it. It was his Tyler though, it must be. The echos of four years ago, Tyler, zipping up that stupid hood and turning to leave him for the last time filled his brain. Before Josh knew exactly what he was doing he turned around and walked towards the guy in the hoodie’s retreating back, the guy that had to be Tyler. 

His vision went black around the corners, he didn’t consider that it was near Halloween and a skeleton hoodie was a fairly popular article of clothing this time of year. He didn’t consider that Tyler was as good as dead. Of course, there had been other times where Josh had been sure he had seen Tyler, in a crowd of people, at school, at graduation, in the guys he had met on Grindr. This was different. It wasn’t a fleeting thought. It wasn’t some momentary thing he recovered from quickly. No, this was Tyler’s back that moved away from him towards the store. The hoodie in combination with the letter he had received was enough to convince him. 

So close

Reach out

Breathe

See him soon

Turn around

Tyler

Tyler

Tyler

TYLER

His breath caught as he caught up to the person and he grabbed their shoulder. Multiple things happened at once, the person turned around, Josh stumbled a little, the icy prickles in the back of his neck came back. As if some invisible hand grabbed the base of his skull, fingers and thumb close to each ear, palm covering his neck. And someone said, 

_ “Try again.”  _

Josh caught himself before falling and then whipped around to locate the source of the voice but there was nothing, no one behind him. He shivered. The person, a girl, probably around eighteen, stared at him. 

“Can I help you?” She asked, sounding rightfully nervous. Josh tried to hold back his tears, looking at her now, he should have known instantly that it wasn’t Tyler. Her hoodie zipped up the front. There was no skull face on the hood. It wasn’t the same. 

“N-No. I…I thought you were someone else.” Josh said, studying her face a moment. For a second the girl looked perplexed, then it was like all of the expression died on her face. Any confusion was gone. Any irritation, gone. She was blank. Eyes stared straight ahead, boring into him. 

“I get that a lot.” She said, her voice monotone. Josh stared at her, she was unblinking. His heart started to pump fast again, he had half a mind to wave his hand in front of her face because of how hard she was staring right through him. She turned on her heel and started to walk towards the store in an oddly stiff way. As she was about to enter, she faltered and then looked back at Josh before continuing on. 

  
  


At home, Josh stumbled to his bedroom, he wanted to lay down and dream of nothing, he wanted to forget the night and everything else. Instead he tossed and turned. He couldn’t get comfortable, he desperately wanted sleep to relieve him from the pressing thoughts of his day. He stared at his ceiling, his eyes itching with tiredness. He needed the sleep. It wasn’t coming though, he resigned himself to the fact that he wouldn’t sleep, not now at least, he sat up in bed slowly.

His room felt strange, as if it was unreal around him. He had that strange feeling you get right before you pass out, when you could feel your eyes so close to going cross eyed or rolling back in your head. His fingers slid over the sheets around him, pressing into the bed, it felt solid but the air of strange unsurety continued. He took deep breaths and tried to ground himself, telling himself that there was nothing wrong, this was real. Somewhere he could hear a tapping noise, like the thump from the day before but instead it was higher, more staccato. 

Taptap

Tap

TaptapTAP

TaTap

Taptap

Tap

TaptapTAP

TaTap

What was that? Where was that? Josh turned slowly, his sleep deprived brain confused and still struggling to keep up with reality. The window. He could hear the window panes rattle as the tapping continued. Someone wants in. In. In. In. Someone is calling and begging to come in. 

_ Answer it, Josh. _ There was that voice he had heard before. He wanted to. His feet carried him to the window beside his bed, he felt like he was gliding rather than walking. The tapping noise faltered but then continued in its pattern,

Taptap

Tap

TaptapTAP

TaTap

Josh stared at the window, it was covered in black out curtains, it would be light out now if he were to open them. There was something stopping him though. What would happen if he opened those curtains and looked outside. What would be there? His breath hurt in his chest, maybe he had been holding it. He tried to release and found he couldn’t. His palms were stinging from where he was clenching his fingernails into them. He couldn’t release those either. 

_ Look, Josh.  _

_ Peak and see _

_ Open the curtain Josh _

_ Open _

_ Open  _

_ Open _

What if he opened it? What was there? There was something making that tapping noise? It would hurt him to see. His hand faltered, reaching out towards the

window. 

Tap

Tap

Tap

Tap

The pattern had changed, it slowed and steadied. It knew he was there, it was waiting for him. Josh picked up his clenched hand and moved the curtain,

Where it should have been daylight

Nighttime

Where he should have been able to see the street

Only a reflection

His face

And behind him

Tyler

Skeleton hood up

Josh couldn’t turn around, his feet were glued to the spot.

“Tyler” the word choked out of him but nothing changed, he couldn’t move, or breathe and Tyler reached up to unzip the hoodie. Whatever would happened next, Josh didn’t want to see, he knew if the hood came down it would ruin his life. “Tyler! Don’t.” He said. Tyler pulled the hood back and off. The face that met Josh’s gaze through the reflection in the dark glass, had no place on earth, the eyes sunken, the same brown as Tyler’s but lacking the twinkle, dead. The mouth open unnaturally wide in horror, blood oozed from the corners. The brow raised and before Josh’s eyes, the skin started to shrivel around the face. “No! No! Please!” he reached up to grab at his hair, to cover his face, his fingers still clenched into fists.

With a spasm, Josh woke up. His eyes popped open. The nightmare was gone, but he was standing in front of his window, the blackout curtains still pulled shut. He hurriedly grabbed them and pulled them open. His eyes were met with sunlight, stinging them. He blinked and looked around his room, it felt normal once more. His fists unclenched and he immediately felt something warm in his palms, he looked down, little spots of blood were beginning to pool in his palms from how hard he had been clenching his nails into his skin. He stood there, breathing hard and trying to make sure no blood dripped onto his floor. He stayed like that, trying to calm his racing heart for too long. 

There was no use sleeping anymore. By the time he calmed down and cleaned up it was 10:30 AM, he wasn’t going to be able to sleep anymore so he may as well get up and go grab a coffee and breakfast. Maybe doing something as normal as a trip to Starbucks would even him out, make him feel like everything was okay.

He dressed and went to the front door, when he pulled it open the first thing he noticed was an envelope sitting outside his door. 

“Fuck.” He breathed. He bent and picked it up. 

All thoughts of breakfast forgotten, Josh went back into the kitchen and sank down on a chair. What the fuck was going on? Was he going insane? He felt completely sane…except for that moment in the parking lot earlier…and maybe the nightmare he had just had. He ran his fingers through his hair and then pulled open the letter, not waiting this time. 

_ Josh, _

_ I think I can meet. I want it more than anything in this world or the next one. Do you remember our skeleton hoodies? I hope to God that you still have yours. It’ll come in handy. It always does. Please please meet me. There’s nothing stopping us if we’re together, if we have a moment, if you can spare a moment. I need you and you need me. I’m sure of it. I’ll be at that place where we were always lonely together. Come say hi.  _

_ -Tyler _

What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to just not go?! How would he ever forgive himself if he didn’t go and he never got a chance to see Tyler again? This was so unreal though. Why couldn’t he just show up at Josh’s door? Why couldn’t Tyler walk into The Grocery Store and hug him if he was suddenly, randomly back? Maybe he wasn’t safe. What had happened to him? There had been no time set in the letter, there had been nothing of the sort but Josh would go and sit in his car all day and he’d miss work too if it meant seeing Tyler even briefly. 

The place where we were always lonely together. Josh didn’t even need to think about where it might be. Before he had time to think about it, before he let himself talk himself out of it he was in the car and driving. It wasn’t far from his apartment building, he had never left their old stomping grounds. Even if Tyler had, Josh couldn’t bare to move on from it. He pulled into the thankfully deserted little parking lot by the baseball diamonds. He tried to see if there was anyone at the little playground across the fields but he couldn’t see anyone. He turned off the car and got out into the chill end of October air.

Leaves crunched

The breeze rustled his jacket

Nose turned pink

In the distance

The playground

A swing drifting back and forth 

The breeze picking up

Ground squish

But this wasn’t his final destination, he had to keep going. He continued back into the woods, following a path that was only barely there. It was a path that used to be way more trampled down, back when he and Tyler walked it nearly everyday. Clouds had obscured the sun now and the light that did filter down through the canopy of trees was grey. The leaves were pretty colors but Josh could barely appreciate it as he walked. He was nearly at a run at the end of his journey. He took a left beside the fallen tree that was still decaying on the ground and walked until he saw the fence. Would he still fit through the gap in the gate? Would he have to climb the fence now? He followed the fence to the right until he came to a gate with a sign that said, “No Trespassing Private Property” he ignored the sign and went to the middle of the gate where it split. It had been so long but the gap was still there, as if no time had passed since he had been there last. There was a chain keeping the two sides of the gate together but because of some oversite you could raise or lower the chain which made a big gap available to crawl through. Josh moved the chain and ducked down, sliding through the gap with a little more difficulty than he had the last time he had been here over four years ago. 

The abandoned building in front of him loomed like a relic from some other world. If he hadn’t been on a mission he might have started crying at the sight of the familiar place. The building had once been intended to become a movie theater, the whole woods had been planned to be cut down but the funding had been cut after protests from the town’s people. All that was left was a half finished movie theater, it had been there for years and years, since before Josh and Tyler had been born and it was a hang out for a lot of young people in town. Tyler and Josh had spent hours at a time there, they had always said it was their place more than anyone else’s. They had explored more of it than anyone else who trespassed there, they had been nearly caught more often than anyone else. It had been like a second home to Josh but now, it was all memories. 

Josh approached the front doors, looking at them, for some reason there was a nervous prickle of dread in the back of his neck, he had to go inside, he had to see if Tyler was there, waiting for him. He went through the doors and looked around the lobby, he wasn’t surprised or disappointed when he didn’t see Tyler there. He knew where Tyler would be if Tyler was coming at all. 

The main lobby had all the relics of something that should have become a functioning movie theater. A long snack counter, a box office, chairs, even a few old arcade games. If you went back towards the theaters it became pitch black, without windows or electricity you needed some good flashlights to see around there. But behind the snack counter, through a door and up rickety old stairs was the manager’s office. It had windows looking out towards the woods to the side of the building, and on the opposite wall were windows looking down into the lobby. 

Josh stopped in the main lobby and his eyes turned up towards those windows. He and Tyler had always wondered if the window would be covered or something when the theater opened or why they would even want an interior window like that. As soon as Josh looked up there, his insides went cold. Skeleton hoodie. Looking down at him. Why did those chills run up and down his spine? He should have been overjoyed! He was overjoyed! But he also wanted to throw up. 

His feet carried him quickly to that back staircase. He turned on his phone flashlight, it didn’t do much to dispel the dark, only enough to see a foot in front of himself. Josh was reckless to get to that room though, no matter how scared he was, no matter the shivers or how he wanted to throw up, he wanted Tyler more than any of that. He made it to the door. The handle was ice on his fingers. 

He threw the door open. Illuminated by the dim light from the windows and the bright spotlight that was Josh’s flashlight Tyler stood with his back to him, looking out those interior windows. The hood had been taken off. His hair looked exactly as it had on that last day. Dread filled Josh’s stomach, what if this was another horrid dream, a dream of Tyler’s wretched, dead or dying face? 

A beat

A stop

A start

Turn

“Josh,” 

“Tyler”

And then he was looking at the face of his best friend

Unaltered by time

Sixteen

Pale

Riddled with sleep deprivation

But Tyler

Josh stared, open mouthed at him, he wanted to run to him but something stopped him. His brow pulled together and his hand reached out. Tyler didn’t move. 

“Hi,” he said. 

“What-what the fuck, Tyler?” Josh breathed. Josh continued to examine him. While he was his Tyler, whole, and untarnished, there was something wrong. He wore the skeleton hoodie, his hair was not a centimeter shorter or longer than it had been on that day, his black jeans and his sneakers were the very same. There was a babyish quality in his cheeks that had already melted away in Josh. The slope of his shoulders hadn’t broadened. It made him squirm with longing for those younger days. The only difference was in his hands and neck. His hands looked like they had been dipped in black ink, it didn’t look like it would get on anything, it didn’t look like it was just the color of his skin, either. It almost looked like a tattoo. It was on his neck too, all black from under his chin, down. A chill settled over Josh. There was absolutely something not entirely right with this. Tyler had watched Josh take him in, staying silent, letting Josh just look and look, feast with his eyes. 

“Do you know what’s wrong yet?” Tyler asked, his voice, the same as always. His lips twitched towards a little smile but then faltered and stayed serious as Josh opened his mouth, closed it and just shook his head. 

“Where have you been!? What happened!?” Josh asked, he didn’t understand at all. His mind couldn’t wrap around what he was seeing, he felt as though he might pass out. Tyler stepped towards him. Josh felt a rush of cool air at the movement, he shivered. Josh’s brow furrowed tighter,

“You know what happened. You’ve known all along, you’ve always been right.” Tyler said. Josh felt like he was going crazy, what he had always thought was that Tyler had been murdered but clearly,  _ clearly,  _ that wasn’t what happened. 

“I was wrong though.” Josh insisted. 

“Were you?” Tyler asked. “What do you see right now?”

“My best friend.”

Tyler rolled his eyes in a classic sort of way, it almost made Josh laugh. “What exactly do you see?” he asked.

“My best friend, wearing what he wore when I last saw him, looking sixteen, tired, exactly as I remember him...except...” Josh said, his eyes flicking to Tyler’s hands and then his neck. “Have I gone insane?” He wondered.

“No. I’m here. I _ am _ dead though.” 

“No.”

“Yes.” Tyler said, he sounded bored, his eyes moved to Josh. “Please, everything will be easier if you accept it now. You’ve known it in your heart for years. I’m dead, Josh. Dead. Dead. Dead.” 

He chanted it and Josh felt his throat close and again, he could see black around his vision. If Tyler was really dead, that meant he had either gone insane, or this was…was what? A ghost!? 

Josh shook his head and backed away towards the door,

“Please don’t leave, Josh.” Tyler said, Josh stopped in his tracks, his heart ripping apart at the sound of Tyler’s desperation. He stared at the boy in front of him, stuck as that sixteen year old. Josh’s breath caught in his chest and he had to gasp for air. He leaned over and clutched at his chest, trying to steady himself. He pinched his skin, and then reached up and smacked himself, as if trying to wake himself up. Tyler looked on as if this was something he had suspected. “It’s not a nightmare, Josh.” Tyler mumbled. “I’m here, speaking to you, and I’m dead.”

Josh’s breathing had turned to ragged sobs issuing from his chest. Tyler stepped towards him and Josh reached out to grab his arm, to see if it was real, to try and understand what was logically impossible but what he was sure he was seeing. Tyler recoiled quickly and Josh’s brow furrowed, “I can’t touch you?! You’re here but I can’t touch you!?” he said, his voice torn and tormented with anguish. Tyler stood back and his brow furrowed in worry, Josh watched it happen as if trying to memorize every aspect of Tyler, every tiny look, every expression or emotion. He didn’t know how soon he would be gone. 

“You could.” Tyler said. “There are some…stipulations to that though.” He said. 

“What are they?” Josh demanded. 

“If you touch me…you’ll see how I died. You’ll have to watch it.” 

“How?” Josh asked, his face twisted now at the prospect. 

“In your head, it’ll play like a dream.” 

“How do you know?” 

Tyler just shrugged, “I just know.” He paused and his eyes caught Josh’s again, “You don’t want to see it.” 

“Yes! I do! Then I’ll know, everyone can know! Your parents can have some peace, they can catch the guy who killed you!” 

“They can’t. How would you explain that? And…it doesn’t work like that. I can’t say his name, I can’t show you his face.” 

“Thats bullshit!” Josh exclaimed.

“That’s how it works.” Tyler said calmly, as if he had come to terms with it. Josh leaned against the wall and took deep steadying breaths, everything felt all wrong. He felt crazy but he was also entirely sure that Tyler was standing right in front of him. Close enough to touch, close enough to feel him. Josh covered his face with his shaking hands and ran his fingers over his head. Rage filled him, it felt violent, his hands itched and his chest burned. He had never been so scared of himself, or what he was capable of but as the strange mixture of fury and fear rushed through him, he knew he was capable of a lot more than what he had once thought. 

“I can feel your anger, Josh.” Tyler said. Josh looked up, slightly embarrassed and ashamed of himself. “Its okay to be angry, it’s unfair. What happened to me.” He said. Josh nodded, his brow furrowing in pain,

“I want you back.” Josh’s voice broke over the words, his throat tightening. 

“I’m here for now. We can be angry together.” Tyler whispered. Josh wanted to grab at his best friend and hold him close, cry into his shoulder. Scream at the top of his lungs. They should be together, really together, not just together for now, not together like this. 

“I want to see.” Josh looked up, his eyes meeting Tyler’s. There was a prickle up Josh’s neck, his eyes searched Tyler’s, it was the look in Tyler’s eyes that was sending that prickle up his spine. That sense of unease wafted over him because of the way Tyler held his gaze, and the empty anger he saw there. 

“Are you sure?” Tyler asked, his whole face softening as he asked the question. “It wont give you the answers, but it could direct you there.” He said. Josh nodded. 

“If you lived it. I want to see it. You deserve to have someone know.” He said. Tyler examined Josh’s determined face. Fuel on the fire. That’s what this would be. They’d burn in their rage together, the way it was meant to be. He took a few steps over to Josh and stood in front of him.

“I love you, Josh.” Tyler said.

“I love you to-” he couldn’t finish the sentence, Tyler had leaned up and pressed his lips to Josh’s forehead. For a moment it was blissful, warm and familiar. The touch and feel of Tyler so close but suddenly it was ripped away.

_ Josh couldn’t see at first, the world had gone dark around him and then there were voices first before any sort of visual. _

_ “Always knew you liked dick, Joseph.” The voice was familiar to Josh but he hadn’t heard it in years, he couldn’t place it.  _

_ “Get off! No!” That was Tyler, the sounds continued as the world lightened around Josh. _

_ Leaves rustling _

_ Clothes moving _

_ Thump _

_ Thump _

_ “Oof,”  _

_ The world came into sharp relief, it was still dark except a blinding light not far away, what was that? Josh turned, headlights. There was a car running and on the ground in front of him was struggling bodies. Josh couldn’t look away as he watched Tyler shoved into the ground, he fought with someone much bigger than him.  _

_ Tyler was screaming _

_ A broken off, bitten off, tremulous scream _

_ Legs kicking _

_ Body shaking _

_ Pants down _

_ Stomach scraping _

_ Fingers clawing _

_ “No! No! No! Please! Dear God, Please!”  _

_ Josh was rooted to the spot, he couldn’t run over, he couldn’t drag the man off, he couldn’t see who it was. He had to stare as Tyler begged, sobbed and bled as he was raped on the ground. Josh felt queasy, he wanted to be sick. He still couldn’t move, it felt like there was a pillow over his face, making it hard to breathe. Tyler tried to shove him off, the person took the back of his head and smashed it into the ground. Blood dripped out of Tyler’s mouth, his next scream was garbled as he choked on his own blood. Where was someone!? Why wasn’t someone finding him!? Where were there!? Josh snapped his head around, trying to take in the scene.  _

_ “You always had so many problems, Tyler. So. Many. Pretty. Problems.”  _

_ A thrust of hips on each word.  _

_ Tyler was sobbing now, unable to hurl insults or fight. Tyler was turned around by his shoulder and suddenly the person’s weight was on his chest, and then hands, scrabbling towards Tyler’s throat. A renewed fight in his best friend. Josh felt pointless hope. Maybe this time Tyler would escape. He would run, he would get away. There was a blankness on Tyler’s face as the fingers closed over his throat, stopping his air. Josh opened his mouth, hoping to scream for Tyler but there was nothing. The sound filled his ears, choking, garbled gasping. _

_ Blood dripping out of his mouth _

_ Pants still around his ankles _

_ Still holding on _

_ Still hitting the man _

_ Still fighting _

_ Please Tyler _

_ The man leaned in towards Tyler’s ear, his lips almost brushing against his cheek as Tyler gasped and choked, blood and spit gurgling out of his mouth.  _

_ “I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.” The murderer whispered, pressing his body forward and watching intently as Tyler’s eyes slid back and then shut. All breath stopped. All life gone.  _

Fear racked at Josh but then his eyes were opening again and he was back in the office of the movie theater. He looked at Tyler in front of him and then turned and vomited onto the floor.

Tyler was next to Josh in an instant, his arm wrapped around him and pulled him back up to a standing position. Josh felt frantic, he was shaking, he was sobbing again. Tyler cupped Josh’s cheeks and held his face, 

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Tyler said quietly, his voice wobbling a little. The touch was heaven to Josh, he leaned into it. He reached up and held Tyler’s hand against his own cheek. 

“No. I’m sorry, Tyler. I’m so sorry. I should have been with you, I should have-why wasn’t I with you!?” He cried, his stomach was churning, his heart had turned to lead and rested in his gut. His face burned, his tears were white hot, streaking down his already flaming face. 

“Nothing you could have done, Josh.” Tyler whispered, “I’m here now, I’ve got you.” He said, still clutching Josh’s face, holding him steady as Josh sobbed and tried to recover from what he had seen. The boiling, seething pit of rage overcame him again. He reached out and clutched at Tyler’s skeleton hoodie, his fist curled tight around the hem. 

“Who did it? I need to know.” His voice was a growl, low in his chest, burning through him like venom. Tyler’s eyes met Josh’s,

“I’ve told you all I could.” His face clouded in a shroud of anger too, his eyes looked coal black. His lip twitched as he spoke. “It’s all right there, Josh. It’s waiting for you.” His voice seemed to snake out of him, it grabbed a hold of Josh and brought him closer. Josh could even feel Tyler’s breath on him. 

“Who could have done it? Who was right there all along, ready to be a murderer?” Tyler asked. Josh let out a breath. Who hated them in highschool? What was it that Tyler had written in his first letter? He had been called a fag all the time in the class where Tyler had first shown him the symbol he had created for their band. What class was that? Josh’s brain worked a mile a minute, trying to sort out who it was. English class. Who would call him a fag in English? Bradley Miller. Bradley hated them. Hated Tyler. Hated him enough to rape him and murder him!? 

_ “Always knew you liked dick, Joseph”  _ The voice filled Josh’s head. Bradley. Could it have been him? Josh’s fist clenched and he met Tyler’s eyes. 

“You know what you have to do, Josh.” Tyler said, his voice was so Tyler, convincing, warm and strong. So sure of himself in everything he said and did. Even when the anxiety overtook him. Even when he was scared, he put on that act, he put on his confidence like he put on that hoodie and it looked so real to Josh. Josh’s mind’s eye replayed Tyler’s last moments, that hulking form on top of him. Squeezing the life out of him. Rage spiked in his chest, filling his throat with bile. He knew what he would do. His fingers itched for it, to grab Bradley’s head, to shove it into the ground like he had done to Tyler. To watch life fade from him. He’d do it for Tyler.

“It’d be easy, Josh. You could do it. It’s right there. It’s so close. It’s waiting for you. Everything you’re supposed to do, it’s right there.” Tyler’s voice sent a shiver down Josh’s spine and he reached out and grabbed at Tyler’s arms. 

“I will. Come home with me first, I can’t be alone.” Josh said. 

“I can’t. I can only go places that I visited in life.” Tyler said. “But I can be with you when you do it.” Tyler said. Josh’s palms were sweating but he was resolved and he knew where he was going next. 

The skeleton hoodie had been tucked away in the back of his closet. He laid it out on the bed and stared at it. He hadn’t put it on in years. He hoped it still fit. He ran his fingers over it, feeling the familiar fabric, it warmed under his touch as if it was waking up for him. Tyler got murdered in his. The world had been wronged while Tyler wore his. Josh would correct the chaos while in his own. He pulled his shirt off, still wishing he wasn’t alone in his apartment. Wishing Tyler could have been here with him. He grabbed the sweatshirt and pulled it over his head, tugging it down. It fit exactly how he remembered it fitting, which was funny because he had gained weight and muscle since the last time he wore it. He looked at himself in the mirror for a moment, maybe he was a terrible person because he had no second thoughts, no nerves. He knew what had to be done, he knew Tyler would be there and things could be righted, he could have closure. Maybe the pain of losing Tyler would subside, maybe the revenge would be good enough. 

Bradley Miller now worked at his father’s construction company part time, and also coached the highschool baseball team part time. It was easy to find out, thanks to facebook. The fucker posted everything on facebook, including that he was coaching a practice that evening. So that was where Josh went. It felt too easy and yet, justice should be this easy. Josh waited in the parking lot by the same baseball diamonds he had crossed earlier in the day to meet Tyler. He watched each kid leave, Bradley was picking up a few things, putting them away when Josh got out of the car. His heart hammered in his chest but his fingers itched. They longed to do it, to end his life, to show him what it was like to be as scared as Tyler, as alone as Tyler. 

“It’s waiting for you, Josh.” That was Tyler, he was suddenly standing next to him on the sidewalk that led down to the fields. Josh jumped and looked at him,

“Will he see you?” Josh asked. Tyler looked bored and shrugged,

“Not unless I want him to.” He said. Josh didn’t understand his best friends expression or lack of enthusiasm but it didn’t deter him. Josh walked down the path, he could see Tyler trailing along next to him but as he walked up to Bradley, his hands balled up into fists inside his hoodie’s pocket Bradley only registered Josh. 

“Can I help you?” Bradley asked, looking around at him. Josh didn’t know what to say, now faced with it, how was he supposed to start it? 

“Answer it, Josh. Do it.” Tyler spoke into his ear. 

“Bradley Miller?” Josh asked. 

“Yeah?” Bradley said, “Ohhh fuck! Josh Dun!?” Bradley asked, recognition liting up his face “How are you? Jesus! It’s been a long time.” He said.

“I’m…not fucking great.” Josh said. 

“Aw man, yeah. You must still be pretty fucked up from all that shit with…what was his name?” Bradley asked, there was a horrible twinkle in his eyes. Josh wanted to gouge them out. 

“Tyler.” Josh said.

“Yeah, you guys were like…fucking each other or something, right?” Bradley asked, looking at Josh and smirking a stupid prick-ish smile. 

“What the fuck do you know?” Josh asked. 

“I know he was a fag and probably got murdered by another fucking fag.” Bradley said. 

“That’s enough, Josh. Do it.” Tyler hissed. It was enough for Josh. He lunged at Tyler’s murderer, it took the man so off guard that he had no time to react and he fell backwards onto the ground. Josh’s fist made contact with his face next, he felt the nose break. Blood gushed over his hands. Power surged through Josh, there was no stopping him now. Adrenalin coursed and Bradley struggled with him, trying to figure out a way to throw Josh off of him, but Josh continuously smashed his fists into the man’s face. Blood splattered upwards, coating Josh’s own face, coating his fists. The knife in his back pocket was forgotten about. He didn’t need it. He would bash his fucking brains in. Bash them right the fuck in. 

Josh lost himself in it. Bradley was a bloodied pulp, his face swelling, purpled bruises blossoming around his eyes. Josh grabbed hold of his head and smacked it hard into the ground.

Once

Twice

Three times

IThere wasn’t time for a scream, there wasn’t air for anything other than the ragged breaths to keep him alive, but those slowed as Josh repeatedly slammed Bradley’s head into the hard ground. It was like Bradley’s head was vibrating underneath his hands, it was hot and then sticky with blood. Josh loved the surge of power he felt and the sense of justice. Each blow deepened the dent in the back of his head, blood oozed and Bradley’s eyes went completely dead. Josh beat the corpse until Tyler spoke to him,

“Try again.” 

Josh turned to look up at Tyler, his face had blood and sweat splattered across it, his breathing was hard, his mind nearly blank.

“What?” Josh asked. 

“You were wrong. Try again.” 

Josh looked from Tyler to the bloodied dead body on the ground next to him and panic started to overcome him, he was shaking violently and he grabbed at Tyler’s wrist. “What the fuck do you mean I was wrong!? Why wouldn’t you-how come you didn’t-why didn’t you stop me!?” He asked.

“I couldn’t! I’m not allowed to tell you anything that blatant.” He snarled. “He’s not a good person, Josh. You heard him.” Tyler said. “He was fine with me being dead, he could have had a hand in it for all you know.” Tyler said. Josh wanted to faint, he had just murdered a completely innocent person, for no reason. He was horrible. He was malicious. He was a killer. His breathing was labored and his mind was working to process that he was a murderer. Bradley was innocent of killing Tyler…completely innocent. Josh reached up and grabbed at his hair, pulling on it and leaning over to try and take deep breaths.

Innocent?

He may have been innocent of killing Tyler but he wasn’t innocent.

Asshole

Wanted Tyler dead anyway

Bully

Prick

Bradley had tormented Tyler his whole life…he had drove Tyler to therapy and had called him a fag repeatedly, for all Josh knew he was the reason Tyler was reckless in life, for all he knew Bradley was the reason Tyler had run off in his skeleton hoodie that Halloween night. 

“You can process this later, Josh.” Tyler said, “But we have to get rid of this body before someone finds us.” Josh wiped at his face, he was shaking so badly he could barely steady himself enough to clear his eyes. He had only done what Tyler had said, he had only been trying to help his best friend, he was trying to right the wrong and now someone else was dead. 

“So what?” Tyler asked from next to him. It was like he had heard Josh’s thoughts, Josh turned his head slowly to look at Tyler. Tyler was staring straight at him, his eyes gleamed in the moonlight, so dark they looked empty. Josh felt like he was looking into an abyss, he felt like he was falling down a black hole. “The world will be better off with one less homophobic fucker.” Tyler rationalized. “Don’t you think?” He added and his lips curved up into a smile that Josh only half recognized. 

“Yes.” Josh answered after a moment, staring at the lifeless body. Tyler nodded. 

“Lets get him out of here then.” He said. 

It took less time than Josh thought for them to carry the body through the dark trees towards the movie theater. The moon was out, Josh could see his breath in front of him as he panted with the effort to carry Bradley’s body down the path. He imagined that the puffs of fog exiting his mouth were bits of his broken soul escaping his body. His brain was a fog and he kept hearing snaps of the branches under their feet, it made him jump and almost drop his half of the body. Tyler was leading the way holding up Bradley’s legs, Josh kept watching him walk backwards easily, only glancing behind him very occasionally. Josh’s eyes fixated on his best friend, studying his face, it was emotionless, his lower lip was sucked into his mouth in some form of concentration but there was no effort there. It was easy for him to carry this weight, it didn’t weigh down his body, it didn’t weigh down his mind, heart or soul. Tyler’s eyes flicked to Josh and they met each other’s gaze, a chill ran through Josh that didn’t have anything to do with the cold night. It was the emptiness of Tyler’s eyes again, 

“It will be alright soon, Josh.” Tyler said, his voice seemed to echo through the blankness of Josh’s mind. 

When they reached the movie theater they went straight in and to the back of the lobby where it slowly became darker and darker, no light from the windows was able to reach this area of the theater. Josh stopped where the lobby split into two hallways, both pitch black. No light could reach them around the corners. The darkness seemed completely impenetrable. Josh stood there, unwilling to cross the line of shadows and head into the vast expanse of darkness down one of the hallways.

Prickling in the back of his neck

Pulse in his stomach

A shiver

Squirm

Rapidly cooling weight in his arms

“Back there?” Josh asked, looking across at Tyler, both of them still illuminated in the moonlight streaming in from the lobby windows. 

“Best place for him. In a theater maybe.” Tyler answered. Tyler produced a flashlight seemingly out of nowhere, Josh stared into the black nothing of the hallway. It was eerily familiar to him. The crawling dread filled his chest, he didn’t want to see what was back there, he didn’t want to find out, he could feel the darkness inching closer to him, he could almost see the line of shadow moving forward to cross over his toes.When they were younger, he and Tyler used to dare each other to take a few steps into the seemingly impenetrable darkness without a flashlight. Neither of them ever made it far. They had once explored the whole long stretch of hallway with their flashlights, peeking into theaters only to run away quickly when they couldn’t handle the feeling of sinking dread that the darkness caused. Back then a flashlight had been a comfort, but now, knowing what he knew and feeling the very real sense of something being Not Right, the flashlight was the enemy. He didn’t want that flashlight turned on but before he could say, ‘wait’, there was a click of Tyler turning it on and light burst forth. It illuminated even less than what Josh had been expecting, a few feet in front of him. Carpet. Walls to one side. Nothing else. 

The creep didn’t go away

The itch to run stayed put

Josh squirmed

“Come on, you lead now. I’ll hold the light.” Tyler said. Josh redoubled his grip on the body, even though he wanted to fling it away from him and he started to walk. The light only covering the tiniest bit in front him. His footsteps were faltering, unsure, his heart was racing, palms sweating because he knew that there was  _ something  _ close. Something that should not have been. Something that didn’t belong here. It didn’t belong anywhere on this earth. 

_ Closer, Joshua. _

_ Right here. _

_ Step _

_ Step _

_ Step _

_ Don’t stop _

Something spoke to him in his head. It rang through his mind. The body in his arms was getting heavier, heavier, weighing him down. It felt like he would sink through the floor soon. The flashlight moved with them, lighting right in front of them as Josh pulled the body towards a theater where they could put it. Josh looked towards Tyler but he couldn’t find his face. Where was he? Why would he have left him alone? Josh wanted to call out for him but he was scared to let his breath make a noise, let alone to shout out. Something pulled his gaze down toward the body he was carrying, he could barely even make it out in the dark. When he did make it out, his heart stopped, his body turned to icy tingles. It was impossible that Bradley’s face could look like this now, no, no! It was wrong, he wanted to look away but he couldn’t. 

It was a hideous wreck of a face that met his eyes, he almost threw the body down in disgust. 

Twisted in anguish

Nothing eyes

Sunken cheeks

Decomposed 

Decay

Blood matted hair. 

Josh let out a gasp and shook his head, tearing his eyes away and picking up the pace. Tyler had been silent this whole time while there was something mounting in Josh’s mind. Something was wrong, he shouldn’t be here. He didn’t belong. Tyler was gone, he couldn’t feel his presence, but somehow, the light remained. It shone on a door to Josh’s right.

_ Here _

_ Put him here _

_ For me _

_ Nothing stopping us _

_ Taptap _

_ Tap _

_ TaptapTAP _

_ TaTap _

_ Answer it, Josh _

_ Answer _

_ Calling to you _

Josh’s hands shook, his eyes burned, the light quivered on the door. He had to open it, he had to put the body in there but there was nothing but dread filling this space. What would happen if he opened that door? What would he see? He might die. 

_ Joshhhhh _

_ Joshhhh _

_ We want him _

_ We want you _

_ Open and see _

_ We are here for you _

_ Joshhhhh _

_ No need to be alone  _

Josh dropped the body momentarily and reached for the handle, ice filled his veins, the light in front of him only illuminated the door and the handle. There was nothing else. He knew everything would change when he opened the door because there was a deep growling now from the depths of the room behind. A growl that came from somewhere beyond, maybe the same place Tyler had come back from. It rumbled up from hell and it was going to swallow him and steal his soul, he knew it. Josh was stuck holding the handle of this door. There was a tickling feeling up his legs as if something was crawling up them.

A hand locked around his ankle, panic filled his chest, it was as if he had been thrown into ice cold water, he couldn’t force himself to look down and see what was there. Something holding him there to keep him from running. 

_ Open it, Josh.  _

The panic peaked and Josh pulled the door open. The light vanished into the blackness beyond, nothing penetrated it. If Josh had stepped inside it would have consumed him too. He was sure if he reached out he would be able to feel the inky blackness in the air. It would be a viscous consistency, like black blood spat from a mouth. It would stain his hands, grab him and not let him go. The growling grew louder, almost deafening, it burned somewhere in his soul and Josh just knew there was something evil right there. He didn’t want to go inside, he didn’t want the door to shut behind him. He reached down and grabbed Bradley’s arms, tugging him towards the door as best as he could, trying to keep the door opened at the same time, he just needed to get him there. Why had Tyler left him? He shouldn’t be doing this alone. Josh could feel a sob, or a scream building in his throat.

_ So close _

_ Let me see those bloodied hands _

_ I’ll lick them clean _

The words rattled his brain and Josh quickly tugged the body into the inky blackness, feeling the darkness wrap around his arms like tendrils, squeezing him tight. Josh had to step fully into the blackness for a moment to lay Bradley’s body down, and all warmth vanished from Josh’s body. His brain throbbed in time to the growling, there was pressure at his throat, it choked him, blinded him. When the body was set down he turned blindly groping for the door he knew he had to find. 

“Let me out! Tyler! Let me out!” If he wasn’t out in a moment it would be over, he would implode into the blackness, he would become that sludgy darkness he had seen as the door opened. He needed out. Soon. Now, it was almost too late.

“Tyler! Let me out!! Please, I need to get OUT!” His hands scrabbled across the surface of what felt like a blank wall, the panic inside him made him hysterical. When he finally found the door he could barely get a grip on it enough to fling it open.

_ You’ll come back to me soon _

Josh ran as fast as he could, he didn’t stop to call for Tyler, he didn’t wait for a light. He ran as fast as he could back to the lobby. When he got there he stopped and his breath came out in sobs. Pain racked his whole body and the sobbing turned to screaming as he covered his face with his hands. His legs buckled and he fell to his knees, his hands held up to his face. It was only then that he noticed the deep ink like blackness covering his hands. His voice cracked as he screamed again and tried to wipe them off. He rubbed them together and wiped them on his sweatshirt, it wasn’t coming off his violently shaking hands, 

“Oh God, oh God! Forgive me!” He sobbed, staring at his hands, the hands he had used to murder. The hands that had felt the viscous blackness, his whole body had been in it and yet it was his hands that had murdered, it was his hands that were black.. He reached up and tugged at his hair, sickness engulfed him and he had to swallow back the vomit that threatened to surface. A hand touched his shoulder and he jumped, scrambling backwards on his knees, away from Tyler.

“What was that!? What’s happening to me!?” He asked. Tyler looked blank for a moment, his eyes meeting Josh’s for only a second and then flicking away before confusion replaced the blank expression.

“What do you mean?” He asked. Josh looked to his hands, they were normal once again. Well, not normal, covered in blood still but the blackness was gone. 

“I-I can’t do this again. I’m sorry, Tyler. I can’t k-kill someone.” Josh said, his voice shook. The words felt hollow to him, especially looking at Tyler, how could he not kill the man that hurt him?! How could he not try to get revenge for Tyler? 

“Why not?” Tyler asked, his voice was quiet but there was deep pain in it, it rattled in his chest. Josh stood up and turned to his best friend, reaching out for him. 

“I feel like I’ve gone insane, I keep…I keep seeing and hearing-I can’t do it! I can’t!” he said. Tyler’s face was as still as a mask for a moment, his eyes downcast, the blankness was worse than anger. “I wish I could for you, Tyler. I want to.” Even as he spoke he knew how badly it was true, he wanted to kill again, because he wanted the person who took Tyler from him to suffer. Bradley’s death would be worth it if he could do that. 

“Then why don’t you?” Tyler asked, his voice high pitched, strangled and scared. 

“Because-”

“Because why??” His voice got rougher as emotion cracked through his face, breaking apart the mask. “Please, Josh! Please!”

“No!” His will was fading, Tyler looked so desperate. Tyler’s face twisted and changed suddenly to fury and pain that was so obvious Josh lost his breath. His brow furrowed, his mouth twisted. 

“Don’t let me go! Please!” Tyler shouted suddenly, he grabbed the front of Josh’s shirt and shoved him hard into the wall next to the snack counter. “I’m a goner, Josh! I’m gone and you’re letting me go! Please! Please don’t let me just be gone from everything! You’re forgetting me, everyone is! They’re leaving me behind.” He leaned forward and put his head against Josh’s chest, his breathing turned to sobbing. “Everything is pain, everything is blackness ahead of me. All I need is for the person who did this to me to be given what he gave me. Please, Josh!”

Josh didn’t know what to do, Tyler looked up from his chest and reached out and cupped his cheek. 

“I’m so tired, Josh. I can’t do it without you. We could be unstoppable together. I want to be together.” He said softly, his voice barely above a whisper, he was was pleading with Josh and Josh’s resolve was fading. 

Josh looked away, his chest felt tight and he felt tears in his eyes still. It’s almost over. It could be over soon. He would get it right this time. It scared him, it felt completely wrong and there was still that pit of panic inside of him. 

“It’ll be okay, Josh.” Tyler whispered, as if he was reading all of Josh’s thoughts still. “Let me help you.” He said. Tyler’s hand dropped to Josh’s and he laced their fingers together, he tugged him away from the wall and behind the snack counter. They took the steps up to the office, there was little to no light except Tyler’s flashlight. When they reached the office Tyler turned to Josh, setting the flashlight down on a table so that the light glowed up towards the ceiling brightening the room as best it could. 

Tyler reached up with his sleeve of his sweatshirt and wiped at Josh’s face, brushing away as much blood as he could even thought most of it was dried there. Tyler let the sweatshirt sleeve drop and he touched Josh’s cheek with his hand, stroking the skin there. His touch was everything to Josh.

It was memories 

Warmth

Gentleness

Calm

And poison 

It fuddled his brain, he knew he would do everything for Tyler, he had known that from the second he had seen him again after four years. 

“You’ve always been there for me, Josh. I knew I could count on you, always. You could have always counted on me but we were separated way too soon.” Tyler leaned in towards him, up a little. Tyler had always been taller than him before, but now Josh had continued to grow and Tyler had been stuck as a sixteen year old. 

Josh nodded. Their lips were so close to each others now. It had never happened while Tyler was alive, but now in the chaos that ensued after Tyler had been murdered, in this weird reality where Tyler had been taken from him too soon, they could finally do this. After four years of being apart, separated by reality, separated by the thin line that stood between heaven where Tyler had black wings and the hell on earth Josh was living in, they were together and right where they were supposed to be. Tyler closed the gap first, pressing his cold lips against Josh’s. Josh matched his enthusiasm and kissed him back, reaching up and grabbing him by the back of the head. 

It was a desperate sort of kiss. It was filled with everything that should have been said long ago before their bond had been forcibly snapped. It was filled with years of longing. Josh felt like he was spilling his heartache and grief into Tyler and Tyler was ridding him of it. 

Their tongues were pressed together

Lips open

Begging for more from 

One another

Bodies pressed together

Josh released all his pent up fear, his anxiety over what had just happened and let Tyler sit him down in a chair. Their lips broke apart and Josh let out a whine of frustration at that,

“I don’t want to stop, what if this is the only time we have?” Josh asked, his face nearly crumpling at the thought. 

“Shh, it won’t be. I’ll be here, Josh.” Tyler said from standing in front of him, “I want more though, even though I feel like I could spend eternity just kissing you and be perfectly happy I need to have more before we do anything else. I can’t imagine never getting more with you.” He said, his voice was hoarse. “I want to make you feel something good, I’ve put you through so much hurt-”

“No, Tyler, it isn’t-” Josh started to say but Tyler had sunk down onto his knees in front of Josh. Josh squirmed in his chair and looked down at his best friend, “It isn’t your fault.” He finished breathlessly as Tyler reached up and started to pull on the button of Josh’s jeans. Josh leaned over and pressed his lips to Tyler’s again. Tyler craned his neck up to kiss him back, Tyler wouldn’t be deterred, though. He reached up to Josh’s chest and pushed him back so he was leaning back in the chair and then his hands snaked down to his pants again. Josh watched the stained black hands rub up his dark pants, Tylers fingers dug into him. It sent a shiver up his spine and it made him go hard. He didn’t know how he had gotten here today, so many things had happened in such a short amount of time that none of this felt real. It was as if it was some sort of dark dream he was having in the hours before he would wake up to go to work at the store. The store. His job felt like a whole different lifetime. 

His mind wandered but not for long, because Tyler managed to get his pants unbuttoned and was pulling them open. Josh let out a nervous gasp as Tyler pulled the tight pants down enough to expose his boxers and the growing bulge in them. 

“Josh, I’ve wanted to touch you…for so long…long before I died.” Tyler said, Josh could barely nod because Tyler was rubbing his thighs, so close to his hard cock that it was making it hard to breathe let alone concentrate. Tyler didn’t wait any longer though, he reached up to the waistband of his boxer briefs and pulled them down so Josh’s cock, swollen and red tipped with longing, fell out, bobbing against his stomach. Tyler sighed and his hand found it, wrapping his fingers around it. 

Sparks burst behind Josh’s eyes, it was a different kind of magic. He felt like he would float away, he would drift off into a different world where him and Tyler could be just the two of them. The two worlds each of them belonged to didn’t exist anymore and the insanity Josh felt like he was teetering on didn’t matter. It was just them, touching each other, stroking each other and finally feeling whole. Tyler moved his hand up and down, stroking him in long, smooth, languid movements.

Weak

Immoveable

But awakened

Needed this

So long

It ached

Deep inside

It felt like Tyler had reached inside of him and grabbed hold of something, of Josh’s true self and was coaxing it out. Slowly pulling it towards his release. Tyler’s hand moved up and down, his breath close to the tip of his cock, it felt warm, so warm. Tyler’s tongue poked out, it circled the tip of Josh’s cock, warming it even further. That piece of Josh that wanted to come out was so close, as it got closer and closer, his cock got harder and harder, it felt better and better. So close.

_ Yes, Josh.  _ Shivers ran up his spine as Tyler’s mouth opened and he took his cock into his mouth. Josh couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, he closed them and leaned his head back, his breathing labored even more. Tyler hollowed his cheeks as he sucked on the head of Josh’s dick, his tongue lavishing it on all sides. 

“Tyler-Ty…” Josh reached out and grabbed Tyler’s head and weaved his fingers through his hair, holding him as he moved his mouth up and down on his cock. Josh felt himself go deep into Tyler’s throat and he was weak with need, “Oh please, take it, Tyler. Please…please…please.” He moaned, tears sprang up in his eyes as he neared the end. Josh felt like Tyler was relentless, his hand moving up and down his tongue lapping up the precum, Josh was convinced that Tyler  _ knew _ he had grabbed a hold of something inside of Josh. Tyler  _ knew _ he was ripping something to the surface with this. Josh would orgasm and be different. He would be a goner. Completely lost to his human hell. “Take it from me, Ty. It’s yours. Everything.” Josh spluttered. Josh opened his eyes and looked down at his best friend between his legs, there was a blackened hand on his cock and those dark eyes on him. Josh’s eyes connected with Tyler’s, he was lost in the blackness, he had fallen into them and there was no coming back. “Its…its all yours…oh f-fuck. Oh…please,” he grabbed at Tyler’s head and Tyler moaned against his cock as Josh’s orgasm made his whole body spasm. He came more than he thought he ever had before, his breathing was labored, his legs stiffened, his eyes rolled back and he had to gasp for air at the end. When he finally came back to himself, he knew he was different. He was who he always should have been. His fists opened and shut and he looked down at Tyler as he wiped his mouth and helped Josh pull his pants back up. 

“How do I know who it was? How do I figure it out?” he asked, he was ready, sure of himself. He sank down onto the floor with Tyler, looking across at him.

“You’ve known all along.” Tyler said, “it’s all there in front of you.” 

“Who is he!?” Josh groaned and racked his brains. Someone in English class. Someone who would have raped Tyler. Someone who saw the symbol. Why would Tyler have put their potential band logo on his letter if it hadn’t meant anything? 

Tyler was just looking at him, watching him work it out in his head. 

“I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.” It was Tyler’s voice that spoke it but it sent a chill up and down his spine. Why did that affect him that way? His eyes flicked to Tyler who was just staring at him. 

“What’s that from?” Josh asked. His mind flashed to what he had seen of Tyler’s last seconds alive. A man on top of him, strangling the life out of him, watching his eyes go blank. He had whispered that.  _ I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity. _

Where else had he heard that!? He racked his brain, trying to think of what that was. Tyler reached out suddenly and grabbed his hand, squeezing his fingers. He had led him there, where was there!? It was so close. A chill settled over him as a strange and distant memory floated to him as if from a different lifetime. 

_ “The Great Gatsby everyone! It’s one of my favorites, I doubt all of you managed to read the first chapter before today so I’d like you to spend the first half hour of class reading it and we’ll come together for discussion after.” Mr. Wilson was talking to them from across the room in English class, his eyes flicked to Tyler, barely sparing Josh a glance even though they were right next to each other. Josh watched his eyes linger on Tyler for a half a second too long but then a crumpled piece of paper had hit Tyler in the side of the head, “fag” had been written on it. Thrown by Bradley Miller. Josh rolled his eyes, “ignore it,” He had told Tyler. That was when he had noticed Tyler’s doodles “What even is that? What does it mean?” Josh asked, indicating a piece of paper Tyler had been scribbling on.  _

_ “It’s just a symbol. Like. A logo.” _

_ “A logo for what?” Josh asked. _

_ “Our band, maybe.” Tyler suggested his face splitting into a nervous smile. “Do you like it?” he asked. _

_ “I do. But I don’t get it.” Josh said. The symbol was scratched a few times on a piece of white paper, it looked like Tyler hadn’t quite been sure what looked the best. But the one that was the most prominent was simple |-/ with a circle drawn around it. Just when Tyler was about to answer Josh, Mr. Wilson walked over. _

_ “Boys,” He said, “come on we’re supposed to be reading Gatsby! You should love this stuff, Tyler!” He insisted. Josh watched again as his eyes lingered over Tyler and then, his hand reached out onto Tyler’s shoulder and squeezed. “It’s practically poetry, Tyler. I know how much you love poetry. ‘I wasn’t actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.’ See, poetry?” He chuckled after he quoted F. Scott Fitzgerald and then he walked away.  _

That was the real memory and it made Josh’s head spin. Mr Wilson didn’t just walk away like Josh had originally remembered, he patted Tyler’s shoulder again and said that weird things, spoke that quote directly in front of Josh. Mr. Wilson. It was him. It had been him from the beginning. Always him. The potential to be a murderer. Josh had never seen it before, but it was right there. 

“Mr. Wilson?” Josh asked, his voice cracking. Tyler’s face clouded, his eyes glinting and darker than Josh had seen them before, there was no way he was wrong this time.

“Mr. Wilson.” Tyler repeated, half choking on the word as if he couldn’t believe he had been allowed to say it. 

“Kill him.” Josh said.

“Yes.” Tyler replied.

“Smash his face in.” Josh decided, his eyes gone, far away, glazed over.

“Yes.” Tyler agreed.

“Strangle the life out of him. Watch him die.”

“Yes.” 

“We’ll be unstoppable together.”

“It’ll be over soon.”

“Yes.” 

Josh went home, to shower, to eat for strength, and to stare blankly at a wall while pretending he was sleeping. No. He didn’t need sleep anymore. He only needed Tyler and the sweet end that was coming. He’d sleep soon. Josh had asked Tyler how they could find Mr. Wilson, but Tyler had told him to leave it to him so Josh had. Tyler told him to go to the theater at sundown and meet him behind the building, it was as simple as that. He had laid out the skeleton hoodie again while he had showered. When he got out he just stared at it, there was still some of Bradley’s blood on the sleeve, it didn’t matter. He hoped it would be soaked in Mr. Wilson’s blood soon. Inside his head he could hear the voices from that horrible dark theater in the back of the movie theater. They were still calling for him. 

_ Hands red now _

_ Black soon _

_ So soon, Joshua _

_ Soon _

_ With us _

The words felt like they were crawling up the back of his neck, slithering into his hair and then forcing themselves down his throat. He still felt like he could feel the dark blackness clinging to his hands, twining around his body and telling him to stay. When things were very still, when he stood there and focused on his breathing, he heard more than his breathing. He heard the growl, from the black depths. 

It was nearly time. He put his hoodie on over his still damp body and left the apartment, unsure of what would be when he returned. 

Tyler was nowhere to be found when Josh reached the movie theater, he called for him but he didn’t appear next to him so he waited, walking around the lobby, checking the office until he decided he should go back behind the building to wait for him. The light outside was fading when Josh heard a distant sound, footsteps through the woods. Loud footsteps and then angry derisive laughter, it was almost manic sounding. Josh turned just in time to see Tyler step out from the side of the building with a man following close behind. Mr. Wilson. 

The four years between Tyler’s death and now had not been kind to the murderer. He had lost a lot of weight, but not in a good way, in a sickly way. His hair had gone nearly entirely gray and was thinning drastically. His eyes were sunken with dark circles under them and even in the orange golden glow of the sun setting amongst the autumn colors he was pallid and sick looking. 

To Josh’s surprise he looked to Tyler, and then took a step away, 

“You didn’t say-”

“I don’t fucking care what I didn’t say.” Tyler snarled, he grabbed the man by the back of the neck and shoved him hard towards where Josh was standing. The man stumbled but didn’t lose his footing, his eyes darted up to Josh who wasn’t hiding the look of disgust on his face. 

“Please, Tyler! I’ll do anything, please, leave me be…” Mr. Wilson begged, looking back at Tyler. “Please, don’t you think I’ve suffered enough-”

“No!” Josh shouted, Mr. Wilson looked at him and a look of recognition washed over his face,

“Josh! Josh…Oh Josh, you can see him too?” He asked, he stepped towards Josh, his eyes looked slightly crazed, wide eyed, terrified and blazing. Tyler took a few steps towards the two of them.

“Yes, and you’re…you’ll pay for what you did to him-”

“Josh, I’ve been paying for it for years….ever since-” he shook his head, “Tyler,” he looked around towards Tyler. 

“Show him where I am.” Tyler said. The man let out a little sob, his head fell forward towards his hands, “You said you’d do anything.” Tyler said. 

“Josh, he’s been tormenting me since-”

“Good.” Josh snarled, stepping forward. He was itching to do it but Tyler seemed to have an agenda. 

“Show him where I am.” Tyler said again, circling closer to Josh and Mr. Wilson. Mr. Wilson looked trapped between the two of them, he didn’t move at all. “SHOW HIM!” Tyler shouted suddenly, the sound of his voice made even Josh jump. Mr. Wilson’s face crumpled and he pointed a shaking hand towards a patch of trees, there was a spot just beneath them covered with leaves. “I buried him there.” He said. The words sent a shiver through Josh and his hands twitched. 

_ Soon, Joshua _

_ Soon _

Josh’s heart started pounding faster and faster in his chest. “I’m going to fucking kill you where you buried him. I’m going to shove your face so far into the dirt you’ll choke on the blood stained soil.” Josh snarled, the voice coming out of him something completely not his own. Tyler’s face split into a vengeful grin at the sound of it. 

Things happened fast then, Mr. Wilson seemed to realize what they intended for him, any color drained from his face. He suddenly turned and tried to run but Tyler was there and grabbed his arm, Mr. Wilson tried to fight him. Josh was reminded forcefully of what he saw when Tyler had first touched him. 

“ _ JOSH”  _ Tyler cried. 

“No!” Mr. Wilson cried, his face pulled in anguish. Josh ran to Tyler, he could barely see anything but blind rage, he needed nothing but Mr. Wilson’s blood all over his hands. He could only hear the low growling somewhere far away. Josh grabbed the front of Mr. Wilson’s shirt and dragged him back towards the spot where Tyler…Josh’s perfect Tyler was buried deep in the ground. Josh outweighed Mr. Wilson these days, it was easy to throw him to the ground. 

“No!” Mr. Wilson struggled and threw punches, trying to knock Josh back as Josh scrambled on top of him, holding him down with his own weight. Dark black fury coursed through Josh’s veins, nothing would stop him. He had done it before, he would do it again. He would have done it again and again and again for Tyler. Always and forever. Josh’s fist connected with Mr. Wilson’s face but there wasn’t the immediate snap of the nose and gush of blood like there had been with Bradley. Mr. Wilson was dazed though and Josh held him by the shirt and shook him,

“Why!? Why did you take him from me!?” He snarled, “Why did you take him!?” He sobbed. No answer, he could hear that deep growl and Tyler behind him,

“Do it, Josh.” He said. Josh was desperate for an answer though, he punched him again, his fist finally coming back bloody this time. 

“Why!?” he asked again, still no answer, Josh grabbed Mr. Wilson’s face and shoved it to the side, pressing it into the dirt. Mr. Wilson strained against him, struggling to turn his head back towards Josh, to get his face out of the ground. Josh grunted with the strain, watching his face smear with the cold, dark earth. It wasn’t enough. Josh took the sides of Mr. Wilson’s head and smashed it backwards, Mr. Wilson groaned and blood started to stain the ground behind him. Josh’s breathing was labored sobs as he begged for an answer, “Tell me!” He shouted, his fists tightening on Mr. Wilson’s head and slamming it down into the dirt again. Mr. Wilson let out a wail but Josh didn’t care. He was desperate, furious and seething. His breathing hard, sucked in through his teeth. He wanted to tear the skin away from the face in front of him, he wanted to watch the life fade from his eyes but first, he wanted to know why Tyler was gone, why his bones were buried beneath him and why Josh was tormented with grief and longing. “Tell me, and I wont fucking kill you!” Josh shouted. 

“Josh!” Tyler yelled angrily. 

“Because he said no to me, he loved you.” Mr. Wilson spluttered, blood dripping out of his mouth. In the ringing silence that followed Mr. Wilson’s words, Josh caught his ragged breath. Then a deep sob burst through Josh’s chest, Mr. Wilson blinked, like he couldn’t believe it. Josh stared at him through the streaming tears, the man that took the love of his life, his best friend, his absolute everything. In his face Josh saw Tyler’s last moments. He thought of all that could have been if the boy whose ghost was standing feet away had been allowed to survive. His jaw set, and then suddenly he grabbed Mr. Wilson by the throat. Both hands closed around his windpipe, crushing it under his weight. Josh leaned up onto his arms. Mr. Wilson gasped, choking, his tongue lolled out of his mouth. His hands waved pointlessly, trying to slap him away. His legs twitched under Josh, and Josh stared down at him unrelenting, 

“I changed my mind.” He snarled. Mr. Wilson’s eyes started to roll back and Josh actually wished it could have kept going longer. He squeezed harder, harder and harder until the man went limp, for good measure he stayed there, holding his throat closed for longer than he needed. When he pulled back he let out a gasp and fell back into the dirt. He stared up towards the darkened sky, stars just starting to pop out. His chest heaved.

_ Good. Josh. Good. _

Tyler was next to him then,

“I really thought you weren’t-”

“Never. I was never going to let him go.” Josh answered sitting up. Tyler offered him his hand and Josh took it, being pulled to a standing position. 

“What now?” Josh asked. “I…I can’t lose you again.” He said, his voice tight, tears threatening to spill over. Josh felt the now familiar prickling sensation in the back of his neck. He glanced behind him to the movie theater. There was a back door nearby and as he looked at it he felt the same sense of dread from before only now it was combined with something, a strange curiosity. 

“You don’t have to,” Tyler said, pulling Josh’s attention back to him. Josh met Tyler’s eyes, they were brown, they always had been brown but the darkness of them still felt like an abyss ready to consume him. The difference was now, he wanted to be consumed. If it meant an eternity of Tyler. Josh looked down, Tyler’s ink black hand held out in an offer. He didn’t know what would happen if he took it but he knew that the heaven that gave Tyler black wings was better than the hell on earth he had lived in for four years. He reached out and took Tyler’s hand. Josh watched as darkness spread up his own fingers from Tylers, covering his hands. The two of them stood next to one another, their blackened hands connected, finally together, both in their skeleton hoodies as it was always supposed to be. They turned to face the door that led into the movie theater. 

_ It’s so good to finally have you, Joshua.  _   
  



End file.
